Incompetent leaders
Handling this "common" problem
There’s an indelible memory I carry from my time as a leader. It was after a difficult decision. Someone came to me, unhappy with the choice the leadership team made. They placed the blame squarely on my shoulders. Not hiding their fury, they looked at me and said, “Either you don’t care or you’re incompetent. It’s one or the other.”
Oof. That judgment landed squarely on my chest, traveling down to the pit of my stomach. I looked down at my scuffed shoes, wishing I’d worn different ones. I blinked my eyes rapidly, trying to stay calm. What a choice. Neither felt true. I certainly cared very deeply but the second half of that sentence felt like the biggest insult I’d ever received at work. We’d been wading through the intricacies of an acquisition. I’d been working overtime balancing my role with my acquisition duties. Being stretched like saltwater taffy would be an understatement.
I may not have been working at my best. Still, being called incompetent left me feeling utterly dismissed. It felt like a huge sign in Times Square blinking — YOU ARE INCOMPETENT. It was the low. Though I knew the person was feeling emotional in the wake of massive company changes, it left a mark that remained for a long time.
I’m not the only leader who has been called incompetent. It’s one I hear leaders say often about their peers or managers say about senior leaders in the org. We use the word incompetent cavalierly.
As we close out the year, I have one wish.
If I could wave a magic wand, in 2024 we’d stop calling leaders incompetent.
Here's why:
It’s a heavy word, packed with meaning. Labeling someone incompetent can ostracize them. It can threaten self-confidence and identity, reducing performance further.
It’s dismissive. Calling someone incompetent writes them off, dehumanizing them. No one deserves this, including leaders.
It's reductive. It’s a binary, negating real skills or the positive impact they have. While most may have areas of improvement, few are entirely incompetent.
It shuts down growth. We're less likely to help someone improve when we view them as a lost cause. We’re also less likely to ask for help when we feel labeled this way.
Labeling someone as incompetent is a judgment. We stop being curious. It stops the conversation. It creates an obstacle to forward progress.
It might be something else. What we view as incompetent might be a leader struggling with complexity and difficult choices. Or they might not understand the expectations because the org hasn’t been clear about them.
In short, writing leaders off as incompetent is dehumanizing, possibly inaccurate, not helpful, and frankly — it’s a lazy way of dealing with a real problem. It’s not a path to productive or positive outcomes.
Even if we don’t say it out loud like someone did to me, even thinking this can change the way we behave towards someone we deem incompetent. I’ve seen it happen when facilitating leadership teams. When they’ve deemed a peer INCOMPETENT it’s all over their face. It shows up in their eye rolls when the person speaks. It’s in the way they dismiss any suggestions the person offers. It’s evident in the way they maneuver around the person, leaving them out of the conversation even when they’re in the room. When I see this, I know the relationship is doomed unless the “judger” is willing to shift their perspective. The leader too is doomed unless they get support which requires openness and empathy.
I’m not excusing lack of performance. We shouldn’t ignore this. Doing poorly in a role affects the entire team — especially when it comes to leaders. Their broad impact increases the stakes of non-performance. Teams struggle to meet objectives and companies falter when leaders can’t meet expectations. We need to support our leaders — proactively so they meet expectations and reactively when they don’t.
A few alternatives
When someone isn't meeting perceived standards, meet them with curiosity rather than judgment. Think about the situation they’re in — the tough conditions, complexities, or uncertainties they might face. Consider that you might be missing information or the full context. This is especially helpful the further away you are from their everyday work. There’s a fair chance we need more data.
Rather than making a broad statement, “They’re INCOMPETENT” dig deeper. Be specific about where they’re not measuring up. In what ways, under what conditions? Where aren’t they meeting expectations? What are the specific behaviors or mindsets? This level of specificity provides information, forming the foundation where improvement can begin.
Consider that they might not be getting good feedback or enough support. Find ways to help them become better. Many orgs lack robust career maps for leaders beyond the Director role. Raise awareness of this, encouraging the company to create competency models for leaders. Invest in leader’s growth by allocating dedicated time and budgets to their development.
When you believe someone isn’t performing in their role, set judgment aside and lead with curiosity.
I love helping companies to develop their leaders and create robust systems of support. Here’s how I can help.
If you’re looking to create expectations around what good leadership looks like at the company, please get in touch. I have a leadership competencies model that’s been used with hundreds of leaders. I can also customize one for your team.
Interested in having a facilitated session at your leadership offsite? Learn more about my Leadership Archetypes Experience. I’m happy to talk with you about what it would look like for your team.
I’m booking keynotes and podcasts in 2024. I can talk about easing the transition into leadership, being an effective organizational leader, building cohesive leadership teams, or managing change.
If you want to talk about other ways I can support you or the team, please get in touch.