Thinking of Yourself as an Experience Designer
Not just someone who gets things done
I had a blast writing this edition. It’s what I wish I knew when I was leading others. I hope you like it. If you’re not subscribed yet, click the button below!
A big meeting loomed. The project required a collaborative approach with one of my peers. Our prep conversation went well — until deliverable time. The deadline was three days before a very important meeting. To be prepared, I needed to review what my colleague had done. We agree on a deadline. As it approached I still had no information. I mentioned the deadline. Then again. Each time he assured me I’d have the materials on time but took no action towards it. Two days before the big day I asked for the materials again. “Today, I promise!” he messaged back. The materials didn’t arrive. Always in a meeting, he was hard to reach. I asked again the night before the meeting. No response.
Worry set in. A storyteller by nature, I like to consider the situation and the turning point we face. Then I shape a narrative, practicing it a few times so it comes out easily. Being prepared allows me to focus on delivering the message to lead us to a decision and move forward.
I didn’t have what I needed. I scrambled to figure out an alternate scenario for the meeting. I even wondered if I should reschedule the meeting until we were better prepared. I didn’t get much sleep that night. At the appointed meeting time I felt frazzled and unprepared. I wasn’t even sure he’d even make the meeting. He showed up three minutes late with the materials. His exuded excitement — I was miserable and stressed out.
When we debriefed later he told me: “I love to work under tight timelines. They give me a buzz.” I responded that I wasn’t sure if it would get done and that it was stressful. “You shouldn’t have worried. I always get the job done.”
He wasn’t trying to be disrespectful. He genuinely didn’t understand the impact of his approach. His work style worked for him. He didn’t realize how others might experience it. He did get the job done but not in a manner or a timeline that worked for both of us. His approach made me feel unimportant and not meeting the deadline eroded trust. The experience felt chaotic. I didn’t know if he’d make the deadline or I’d have to make something up on the spot. This made it difficult to do my best. It was like being on a roller coaster. His last-minute, adrenaline-fueled work style made working together feel fraught. Despite like him as a person, I wasn’t looking forward to collaborating with him again.
My colleague’s behavior isn't uncommon for new leaders. High expectations and the pressure to get results takes over. They meet the target but burn everyone to a crisp along the way. People feel ignored, disrespected, and unimportant. They’ve become defensive, harden their boundaries. Relationships become strained. Collaboration feels more like going to battle. Despite being well-meaning, others see them as insensitive or even a jerk.
Reaching the goal is only half the equation — how we arrive there matters just as much. Leaders who focus only on the first part burn out teams, erode trust and lose influence. Over time they become less effective. Rather than checking things off the list, design an experience.
Leadership as designing an experience
Many call Disney the happiest place on earth. Think about the last time you went to Disneyland. Though mine years ago, it felt magical. Wonders delighted around every corner. The company is intentional about crafting an immersive experience. They know how to bring out that childhood sense of wonder. They're deliberate because they understand that the experience is an enormous part of their product. This philosophy is so much a part of the company, there's even Mickey’s Ten Commandments.
Think of how others experience your area and your leadership as a product. Unless you’re conscious about it, their experience with you might feel like a roller-coaster — especially when goals are your primary focus. Design the experience you want them to have. Be deliberate in how you want others to experience working with you.
Consider things like how:
Decisions are made and shared with the team
To create special moments and good memories
You might reduce stress
Easily outsiders can find the information they need
Often schedules, priorities, and teams change
Much you lead with your style vs adapting to others
New people are onboarded new people into your org
Finally, consider the kind of mood you want to create. Do you want high energy, focused, slower decision-making? Think about what mood is needed for different phases of development. Leaders' moods are infectious so be sure to keep this in mind.
Meeting goals and designing an experience that welcomes others aren't at odds. Leaders can make — and break cultures. The mood the leader creates influences the way people feel about the company. When people have a good experience they attract others who want to work with them. Retention increases which mean more time on critical projects than on hiring. Always remember…
“People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
― Maya Angelou
Until next time, be well.
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